How Marvel solves it's problems: Or When things get Metaphysical
by JTheGoblinKing
Summary: A short one shot fiction story that shamelessly pokes fun of the issues between Marvel and Sony and recent news events.


Disclaimer: The following fan fiction is loosely inspired by the issues of Sony Pictures refusing to relinquish their hold on the cinematic rights to the Marvel character of Spider-man. Though I make light of recent unfortunate incidents involving Sony I do not condone theft. This is only meant as a spoof and parody. I do not approve of what really happened to Sony but I am willing to make light of it for satire. The character of Loki is a public domain mythological figure however the version described within this short fan fiction is the version reimagined by Marvel comics.

How Marvel solves it's problems:

Or

When Things get Metaphysical

"So have you heard what happened?" The young man in the grey business suit asked his colleague as they walked down the brightly lit corridor of the California office building. The younger man wore a dark charcoal grey suit of clothes. His hair was dark and slightly wind swept from the breeze outside that had mussed it upon his arrival in the office building that morning.

"You mean about Sony?" The older, grey haired man beside the younger man asked. This man was in a slightly more expensive suit and his expression slightly more severe but otherwise he had a similar disposition to the younger man. His greying hair was neat, not at all mussed by an errant wind.

"Yeah. You heard about that?" The younger, new executive asked, sounding a little meek. He felt foolish. He should have realized that Joe would have known about this but he chose to continue talking for the sake of conversation anyway. "Apparently at least three of their new movies were leaked online along with a lot of sensitive information."

The older man paused in his walk. "Listen kid, about that… You remember our attempted negotiations with Sony?"

The younger executive started to feel a certain moral discomfort. His stomach twisted into a knot. Was he about to become privy to highly illegal corporate espionage? Surely Marvel would never need to stoop so low. Ever since they were bought by Disney they had become one of the most powerful forces in Hollywood.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Well, things didn't quite go as we had anticipated. We wanted to have Spider-man in Avengers: Age of Ultron and they wouldn't budge. So we had to… call upon certain emergency assistance."

"Emergency Assistance? What kind of assistance? Like North Korean Hackers assistance?" The younger executive was showing his disapproval and narrowed his eyes at his colleague.

"No. No, no. Nothing like that." The older man shook his head with a small laugh. "See, we had Steve and some of the boys upstairs got together and well… We might have invoked the help of certain more powerful figures. Those who are better equipped in ruthless business practices."

"Invoked?" The young man noticed the peculiar and perhaps archaic and dramatic choice in wording. It caused him to quirk an eyebrow. It amused him on some level because of the mystical quality of the word.

The older man walked toward a closed door and took a hold of the door knob, opening the door to a well-lit office room.

It was a comfortable corner office with large windows and a desk facing the doorway. At the desk sat a man …or was it a man?

The figure was facing them but not really acknowledging them.

The being was startling. He had shaggy, shoulder length black hair and wore a strange costume of what appeared to be some sort of green leather. For the strangely ancient quality of the being's clothes it was peculiar to see him sitting there with a cellular mobile phone to his right ear. His slender fingers held the phone with an expertise yet somehow the younger executive suspected that this creature had probably never held such a device before today. The being had striking green eyes that seemed to almost glow with their own eerie incandescence.

"What are our demands?" The man's voice seemed to have a surprisingly English-like accent yet also strangely not quite. The voice was calm but had an intensity that indicated that he could start screaming at any second. But despite this the voice came out silky smooth and had a certain slyness to it. "Well, the answer is quite simple really-" *He rose slightly from the chair, one hand clutching the desk.

It was at this point that the younger executive noticed a sceptre, looking much like the movie prop from The Avengers movie, resting in a leaning position against the back wall right in arm's reach of the being, that being that somehow did not seem quite human and yet he strangely seemed so much like a man. There was some sort of strange almost electrical-like hum in the air around him and the entire aura of the man disturbed the young executive for reasons he could not quite explain.

The being's voice became low, intense, almost seducing,* "-Give us The Spider and I may let you live. We WILL have The Spider Back."

And that, dear friends, is how Marvel solves it's problems…


End file.
